Uh... Why?
Because so many of us find Rick Perry and the American Family Association and their mysticism and pandering offensive on multiple levels. In fact, there's a whole page about that.
OK. So when are we doing this?
Saturday August 6, 2011. We've conveniently set up a Facebook event to remind you.
Where?
Your bed, air mattress, futon, couch, kitchen table, living room floor, or other favored surface(s) for sex and greasy food.
Who can play?
Everyone is invited. Your religion, race, sexual orientation, gender, marital status, sexual kinks, or food allergies are no obstacle to participation. We aren't even particular about your species. Just enjoy the day!
Is a particular kind of food required?
There are absolutely no restrictions on the food except that you don't make it yourself. And ideally, you should pick something you really like. Treat yourself. Pizza, Chinese, Thai, whatever. Keep it kosher or gluten-free or whatever if that's your thing, but indulge.
What if I don't have someone to have sex with?
Flying solo counts! Or maybe you could try Craigslist or something. (Just keep it safe. We don't want you to catch anything.)
What if I don't want to have sex for personal or religious reasons?
Like we said in the previous question, self-love counts. If that's also not on the menu for you... Well, at least try to catch a re-run of Baywatch or something. Or take a bubble bath. Whatever the boundaries of indulgence are for you, go there. We won't judge.
Do we have to have the sex and the take-out food at the same time?
We get this question a lot; apparently the name of the site is a source of confusion.
We're suggesting that you have the sex and the take-out food in the same day - not necessarily at the same time. Feel free to enjoy them one after the other, in either order. In fact, we don't recommend having the sex and the take-out at the same time, because that's just asking to mess up your sheets. But then again, maybe your sheets are due to be changed anyway - in which case, go wild!
How does having sex and eating take-out food help solve the world's problems?
It doesn't. The purpose of this event is to point out that an American governor with probable Presidential ambitions has either gone mentally off the rails and believes in magic, or that he's engaging in the crassest possible electioneering; that he's forgotten what it means to hold an elected office in a pluralistic democracy; that he's in bed with one of America's best-funded hate groups; and that the very notion of this event should be offensive to anyone who values reason.
Also, we think you could benefit from chilling out for a day.
Seriously, you look like you could use a break.